December 30. 14

Sitting here, counting down the hours til the year 2014 ends. It's been a rather interesting year, Lord knows I've come a long way. 

I remember laying in bed on my birthday and just sobbing my eyes out. I was in such misery. I couldn't see what or where I was going with my life. I was home , jobless & pretty much had nothing going for me. I was overwhelmed & felt so depressed. I wasn't writing as much, so needless to say I could not express myself. 

With much prayer and loads of faith, here I stand. I have a long list of things to be grateful for. It's hard to see your blessings sometimes when the world gets in the way, I suppose I'm quite lucky that God tends to remind me sometimes of how blessed I am. Not only do I work for one of Africa's biggest tv companies, but my family & friends are still alive & healthy. We've lost our loved ones (May God accept their precious souls) and we've been let down & hurt for far too many times than we can count. I have so much to put down here but I'd rather it were all positive. For if you're to take 5 minutes of your life reading this then I 'd like you to take some good from it. 

I'm grateful for this year & its journey. I'm grateful for life & love. Moreover, grateful for good health & every little thing that makes the world slightly bearable. I hope the new year won't only bring a fresh start but it 'll recandle a little hope for you. I pray that you may reach your dreams & you may finally find what you've been looking for . 

A blessed one to you & yours.

Love,

Motso*

Because it's a Tuesday..

Woke up this morning the happiest I've ever been in a while. Had a dream about my late dad. Now often than not, the dream is sad and I wake up in tears, this wasn't the case at all this morning..

There had been a car that he was planning on getting before his passing (Nissan Hard body) and never quiet did because well of the reason I just mentioned. Anyway, in my dream - it had just arrived from the dealership and parked in the garage. Just as I landed my feet at home, my eyes rested on it and with excitement, I ask if I could test drive it, to my surprise he said YES!!. It was so beautiful and felt so real, we drove around Soweto and went to places I didn't know existed. At some point, we came across traffic cops but even they had no care in the world, LOL!!

This was such a beautiful experience because it just proved to me that there really is life after death. I've always dreamt that he'd teach me how to drive as a little girl as I've mentioned in my earlier posts and also, I'm convinced that he's always been with me when I've had my lessons, he's aware of this and this, I suppose was his way of letting me know that he's really still a huge part of me. Everywhere I go and with everything, he's there being a part of it..

Never thought I'd have story to share simply because it's Tuesday, guess it's not just a random day after all :).

Heed The Call

I was fortunate enough a couple of weeks ago to have to been invited by the Oh So cool Butan to do a shoot with them. This is just a little glimpse of the stuff you can get for yourself. Visit their page on facebook: Butan Wear SA and @ButanWear on twitter.

Beyoncé - Flawless

We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls,
"You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man."
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes

 

This verse just says everything there is to say, ima just leave this right here.

Power!!

Sent from my Windows Phone

Prayer. Passion. Purpose

I often get asked what my tattoo means and what significance it holds. It's quite self explanatory but of course the meaning is much deeper to me.

I had heard a friend say this and found it to be so profound and reflected on it. It never quite stuck with me til I was going through some things that I found that " prayer - passion - purpose" were the only things that kept me going, literally.

• Prayer > I don't know of a better tool, a better form of communication that is as liberating as this. I don't know of anything else that cleanses the soul better than this. Furthermore, I don't know of anything that requires you to be selfish & selfless at the same time. Selfish because for that moment, you're required to not pay attention to anything else, to not think of the troubles of the world but just do this. However, selfless because in the prayer itself, one is required to put everything in prayer; the ones we love, our leaders, those who are sick, our fears, dreams, goals and everything else.

• Passion > We all have something we're passionate about; our careers, social issues, causes that we live to conquer and such. Because of these, we feel this burning sensation inside that makes us want to change the world, no matter how small that change might be.

• Purpose > We all want to live for something. We all want to belong. It is not enough to wake up daily to just exist, we need to strive for something. We need to live for something, to achieve certain goals/dreams, to help others and to reach our full potential. We need to have a purpose.

I am reminded daily of this and I don't regret it one bit. I am fortunate to live in a time where we can freely express ourselves. It doesn't go with the rules of being a "Christian" but that's okay with me because behind all those superficial rules behind these religions lies a God, irrespective of the form in which we identify with him/her/it.


Sent from my Windows Phone

This past weekend, I woke up nice & early on a Sunday morning (something I never do..) Because 1). God told me to rest and 2). It's the one day of the week where absolutely everything can afford to wait).

Anyway, was so amped because for the first I was doing something so scary and so exciting at the same time. I had taken the initiative to go book for my driving lessons. Man, it seems like such an achievement and I've only had one thus far, LOL!! I've never experienced something so liberating, something that makes you feel in so control.

Perhaps I really do thrive on having some kinda thrill but I've dreamt bout that moment since I was a little girl. Only the way I wished it could've turned out was my dad on the passenger seat giving me the 411. I appreciate the memory I have however of the 6 year old me, sitting on his lap pretending to be the next Michael Schumacher, bless his soul.